


Just Got The Start Wrong

by roxashasboxers



Series: I Might Have Made a Linsons Verse [2]
Category: Basketball RPF
Genre: Angst, Explicit Language, Frottage, Jeremy is on painkillers and they totally make out, Linsons, M/M, Making Out, Mildly Dubious Consent, but that's not an option, but whatever - he's pretty aware, i feel like this should actually be rated between mature and explicit, i'm just tagging it for anyone who's easily triggered, so technically he's under the influence and can't consent, they grind in their undies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-24
Updated: 2014-06-23
Packaged: 2018-01-02 03:41:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1052115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roxashasboxers/pseuds/roxashasboxers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jeremy is recovering after getting fouled pretty hard and Chandler can't keep his hands to himself. Problems happen and boys continue to be dumb creatures.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Might Not Be The Best Thing

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea why I wrote more linsons. Which, yeah. That's a lie. I'm really just sad that they aren't as bromance-y this season and writing light smut fic makes me less sad, I guess? Okay, yeah, maybe I don't actually know. 
> 
> Also, the living situation is never actually explained because I am lazy and that would be effort, so shh. Just go with it.
> 
> Title taken from the song "Haven't Had Enough" by Marianas Trench.
> 
> Edit: Rated for sexual content in chapter 2.

Chandler grimaces when he sees the bruising on Jeremy's chest. It's large and already a stark purple-blue against his skin. The edges are a sickly yellow and Jeremy's skin looks red and raw from the ice pack he just took off.

"It's really not that bad." Jeremy says, and Chandler gives him an accusing look, because no, it's actually pretty bad.

"Okay, it's bad, but you can't say I haven't had worse." Jeremy amends, and that's true, too. At least he didn't need stitches for once. Still...

"Do they think you'll be able to play?" Chandler asks, and he's totally staring but it's hard not to when the massive bruise is right there in front of him, all discolored and painful-looking. He feels his own chest throb in sympathy and rubs a hand across it as subtly as he can.

"Day to day." Jeremy answers, eyes flicking down to Chandler's hand. He doesn't sound as confident as he usually does when people ask about his injuries, but it's just the two of them right now, and he's way too tired to bother keeping up appearances.

Chandler hums thoughtfully and stands, crossing over to sit beside Jeremy on the couch. He reaches up and then stops himself, slowly lifting his eyes towards Jeremy's face. He gestures at the bruise and Jeremy gives a tiny nod, granting Chandler permission. Chandler gently lays his hand over the injury, feeling the damp cold left over from the ice pack seep into his palm.

Jeremy relaxes into the touch, used to being fussed over by the other man after playing an entire season together. Chandler never seems to be willing to accept whatever the trainers tell him without verifying it for himself, despite the fact that he knows little more than basic first aid. He always has to touch, and Jeremy lets him because he can see the tiny wrinkle of fear that appears between Chandler's eyes when one of them goes down.

Chandler spreads his fingers out, trying to cover the entire bruise. If he tilts his head, he can almost pretend it isn't there. Jeremy sags against the couch, eyes falling shut under the gentle touch. The ache in his chest seems to lessen a bit and he sighs. The painkillers he took are finally kicking in, and combined with Chandler's calm presence, Jeremy could probably fall asleep on the couch.

"Man, he really got you." Chandler says softly as he draws his hand back, still in awe at the size of the bruise.

"It was an accident." Jeremy mumbles, and Chandler can tell that he wants to shrug but the injury is keeping him from doing so.

"I know that. Heck, I didn't even see it happen." Chandler says, and he sounds almost angry at himself for not noticing, like he could have saved Jeremy or something. It makes Jeremy smile slightly, amused at his friend's protectiveness.

"What?" Chandler asks, eyebrows drawing together in confusion.

"You're ridiculous." Jeremy answers with a soft laugh.

Chandler makes a strange expression, like he doesn't know if he should be offended or not, and it makes Jeremy laugh harder until the movement jars his ribs and he freezes with a pained hiss.

"You okay?" Chandler asks, frowning, and grips the shorter man's shoulder, leaning into his space. Jeremy shakes his head, grinning again, "I'm good. I'm just gonna lay down for a bit, actually."

Chandler removes his hand almost reluctantly and scoots further down the couch to give Jeremy room, still looking concerned. Jeremy gives him a bigger smile to show that he's okay and then starts to shift his legs up onto the couch. A sudden pang erupts in his chest and he quickly returns his feet to the floor with a gasp.

Chandler's hands are on him again instantly, and the taller man is gently manhandling him into a laying position without any words on Jeremy's part. It hurts, of course, but not nearly as bad as it had just seconds before when he was trying to move on his own. The warmth of Chandler's hands are a nice distraction where they rub his shoulders as he settles in, sliding down to just around the bruise on his chest, where the muscles are all tight and aching. He closes his eyes in contentment and relaxes into the couch, the throb of his bruised ribs dulling.

It's only a few seconds before he realizes that Chandler has stopped moving. That, and he's still kind of looming over Jeremy, one knee up on the couch, the outsides of their thighs touching. Chandler's hands are still on his chest.

Jeremy opens his eyes and his breath catches when he sees the way Chandler is looking down at him, biting his lip determinedly, with a certain amount of focus that rarely leaves the court. It's intense and fierce and Jeremy feels a small shudder run down his spine.

Jeremy stares back blankly, finding himself on one end of a sudden tension. He doesn't say anything, but Chandler must see something in his eyes because he is suddenly climbing onto the couch and pushing up on his hands and knees, entire body stretched out over Jeremy's. He's all shaky breaths and lanky limbs, and so close that his t-shirt brushes Jeremy's belly. He can't seem to figure out how to balance his weight without crushing the smaller man, and when he brings their lips together, his kiss is soft and hesitant, and not nearly as surprising as it probably should be. His touch is still as gentle as before, with an underlying passion just peeking through, like he wants so much but he doesn't think he's allowed to have it, like he's waiting for the punchline. Jeremy can feel the couch cushions grow tight underneath him as Chandler's fingers dig into them.

It's weird, and not just being-kissed-by-your-teammate-who-is-also-your-best-friend-and-a-guy weird. Chandler is tentative and subdued, and nothing like the person Jeremy has been sharing space with for the last year. It's a side of Chandler he's never seen before, and in all honesty, not one he particularly likes, and he reacts on instinct, wanting Chandler to act like _Chandler_.

Jeremy leans up as much as he can and pulls Chandler down with his left arm, forcing the kiss deeper. Maybe it's the painkillers that are making him want, but he scratches at Chandler's nape, urging him on, and it's all the encouragement the taller man needs.

He lets himself settle over Jeremy, their legs sliding against each other, bare shins rubbing with every shift of their bodies. Chandler's mouth opens against Jeremy's and he tilts his head into the kiss. Jeremy groans quietly at the bite of stubble against his skin, and his fingers bury into Chandler's hair, prompting the other man to kiss him harder. His lips sting from the unfamiliar texture of Chandler's unshaven face, but it's a pleasant sort of pain that makes him squirm, almost like the buzz of static that their shorts give off when they empty the dryer, like Chandler is electricity personified.

Chandlers' hips rock just the slightest against his own. Jeremy can feel the tension in his legs as he fights to hold himself still, the quick brush of curling toes against the tops of his own feet when Chandler slides forward to rise up further onto his knees and put distance between their bodies.

Chandler brings both his arms up to hold Jeremy's face, kissing him with his entire body, his shoulders tilting and his spine curving like just moving his head isn't enough. It's overwhelming, the way Chandler starts to lose himself, letting go with such simplicity, all of his passion focused on Jeremy's mouth. It more than makes up for his lack of finesse, the almost clumsy way he moves. It's a graceless coordination that nobody else can quite manage.

Jeremy's hand smooths down the back of Chandler's t-shirt and towards his hip, where he pauses, feeling a thrill rush through him when he touches warm skin. Chandler moans into the kiss, his hips jerking forward as his control snaps momentarily, and he pulls back to suck in a lungful of air before continuing his assault on Jeremy's mouth.

Jeremy lets him, enraptured by Chandler's enthusiasm and too caught up in the moment to bother doing otherwise. Chandler is kissing him like he's starving for it, and Jeremy is content to let him take the lead here, to let his mouth be explored by an eager and experienced tongue. It feels good, really good, and he slips one hand up under the edge of Chandler's shirt, resting it over the small of his friend's back.

Chandler makes a soft sound against his mouth and arches up into the touch, cat-like and desperate. Jeremy half-expects him to sit back and tear off his shirt. He doesn't though, and Jeremy's glad because he certainly isn't ready to move past this - which, wow, what even _is_ this? - but he does find it a little strange that as aggressively as Chandler's kissing him, he doesn't seem all that interested in doing more. In fact, he seems determined _not_ to go further.

Jeremy tries not to think about it though - which isn't hard; his head's all fuzzy and warm and comfortable - choosing instead to focus on the feel of Chandler's warm back under his hand and the slightly chapped lips pressing eagerly against his own. Chandler's tongue is soft where it presses against his, and the contrasting textures are exciting and unfamiliar. Jeremy isn't used to rough, to heavy and strong and masculine, but he finds he doesn't mind it. It's unfamiliar and strange, sure, but it's also Chandler curled over him, so it's not entirely foreign either. It's new and thrilling, but not scary or uncomfortable, and Jeremy realizes that most things are like that when Chandler is around; he's been putting Jeremy at ease since the day they met.

One of Chandler's hands reaches for his chin, and his fingers curl around Jeremy's jaw, angling his face up. His tongue dives deeper into Jeremy's open mouth, teasing at his teeth and then retreating. Jeremy finds himself lifting his head to follow, his hand shifting from Chandler's back to grab onto his hip, as if to hold him in place.

Chandler seems to melt at the touch, and he moans, licking at Jeremy's lips before suddenly breaking the kiss. His head drops onto Jeremy's shoulder and he lays there, panting, paying care to keep his weight off of the injured man. It looks uncomfortable, the way his back is bent, but Chandler doesn't move.

Jeremy licks his lips, finding them sensitive and slick. He can feel Chandler's breath against his neck, hot and wet and strangled. His own chest is heaving, a sharp twinge pulsing through his body with every breath. His hand is still on Chandler's waist, and he strokes his thumb over the other's hip bone thoughtlessly as he tries to control his own breathing and figure out what the heck just happened.

Chandler gasps against Jeremy's skin and reaches down to grab the shorter man's wrist, halting the movement. Jeremy pauses and Chandler lifts his head slowly, the grip loosening until his fingers are just lazily curled around Jeremy's arm.

Chandler's eyes are wide and dark, their bright blue striking against his flushed skin. Sweat dampens his hairline and his lips are full and kiss-swollen. His mouth is just hanging open, revealing the slightest hint of teeth, and Jeremy's face burns hot at the sight.

"Would it fuck things up if I told you I didn't want this to just be a one time thing?" Chandler asks. He's whispering but his voice sounds so loud in the sudden stillness, and Jeremy nearly jumps, not expecting the question.

Now that they've stopped kissing and the words are out there, the situation really hits him. They're sober (or, Chandler is, and Jeremy may be on some medication that's making him a little loopy right now but it's _definitely_ not strong enough to excuse the fact that he just made out with his best friend) and this isn't college and he isn't just indulging Chandler's tendency to not give a shit about personal space. This... Chandler was actually just kissing him and he was just kissing Chandler and they were just _kissing_. Like for _real_. And now Chandler is asking for more, asking to put their friendship, their team, their _careers_ at risk for something Jeremy can barely fathom. Jeremy wonders if the pills are slowing him down that much or if everything just got serious this abruptly.

"Uh, what?" He says, and it sounds dumb even to his own ears.

Chandler's face falls at his response and he drops Jeremy's arm, sitting up. Jeremy panics and grabs the other man's wrist, keeping him in place. Chandler looks down at their hands curiously and then back up at Jeremy. His face is cautious and closed off, but Jeremy can practically feel him vibrating with tension. They remain like that for a moment longer and Jeremy still has no clue what to say, so he doesn't say anything. This time when Chandler tries to get up, Jeremy lets him.

They don't speak for the next two days.

 

* * *

 

When they finally do, it's Chandler who breaks the silence.  
  
"You kissed back." He says, looking for all the world like he just might punch Jeremy. Jeremy actually sort of wants him to, because maybe he'll know how to react to that. As it is, he just stands there and lets Chandler yell.  
  
"I know I messed up and I know you weren't exactly in top condition but I know you weren't that out of it and _you kissed me back._ " He says, the last bit sounding desperate and weirdly pleading. Jeremy doesn't know how to respond, because it's true. He may not have been thinking straight but he still knew what he was doing. He could have pushed Chandler away at any point and he _didn't_.   
  
He wants to explain to Chandler all the reasons why he couldn't say yes, all the horrible ways this could go wrong, but it's sort of hard when he's having such a hard time convincing  _himself_  that this is a bad idea, when his mind keeps wandering back to the comforting weight of Chandler's body half-draped over his own. Chandler glares at him for a moment and Jeremy just sort of stands there, looking unsure, hoping some deity will kill him so Chandler isn't tempted to. It seems like his determination not to screw things up is really screwing things up.  
  
Chandler shakes his head, suddenly looking more disappointed than furious, and leaves. Jeremy flinches when the door slams.  
  
He closes his eyes and prays.

 

* * *

 

It's not entirely unheard of, a gay professional athlete. Sports fans might not typically be the most liberal group of people, but it's 2013. Things are different now. Nobody would stand for discrimination against a player based on their sexual orientation, at least not without having a decent-sized group of angry citizens coming after them.

So it's not the gay thing that's an issue.

At least not officially. It's kind of an issue in the private sense, because Jeremy's never even _thought_ about a guy that way before the other night, and he still wants to find a beautiful girl and get married and settle down and have kids and live the American dream like his parents did. It's just that he also wants to make out with Chandler every day for the rest of his life.

But the gay thing- he can deal with that. It's weird and unexpected, yeah, but he's been thrown curve balls before. He can deal with that.

It's the teammate thing, the friendship part of the equation that has him freaking out. 

Because hooking up with Chandler would definitely change things between them, and how would that translate on the court? And what if things don't work out? What if there's a big fallout between them and things...

Things end up exactly like they are.

Well, shit.

Ruining a friendship and team chemistry was something even drugged Jeremy wanted to avoid. Too bad he didn't have the sense to, you know, _actually avoid it_. And sober Jeremy does not have the people skills to fix this mess, and with Chandler on the other end of matters, he's pretty sure they're screwed.

 

* * *

 

Chandler's only gone for a few hours, because there's really nothing he can do at this time of day without getting swarmed by fans, and he's not in the mood to deal with that. It's going to start getting dark soon anyway, and he's afraid that if he keeps driving around, he won't stop until he's crossed the border, so he heads back to the house and reminds himself of all the reasons he can't run away from this.

That doesn't mean he's looking forward to confronting Jeremy though, so he sits in the driveway for almost an hour, staring at his white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel in the fading light of day.

Chandler nearly screams when the passenger door suddenly opens and Jeremy slides into the seat, and he finds himself gaping at the other man dumbly. It takes a while for him to close his mouth, and then he returns his gaze to his hands, wishing he was smaller for the first time since he was drafted. Now that Jeremy's here, Chandler can't even muster up the anger to glare at him. He's just tired and miserable and really fucking hurt. And there's also a boatload of guilt there too, because Jeremy wasn't in his right mind and maybe Chandler really fucked up here, maybe he read everything wrong and took advantage, maybe he just threw away Jeremy's trust, maybe-

"I'm sorry." Jeremy says simply, and Chandler shivers. He glances sideways over at his teammate but Jeremy is staring out the window. Chandler follows his gaze but can't make out anything of interest in the settling darkness. He sighs and drops his head to rest against the wheel.

"Did you know what you were doing?" He asks quietly after what feels like an eternity of silence.

Jeremy startles a bit, and instantly feels guilty, because he _did_ know, and Chandler's probably been beating himself up this whole time, thinking he tried to rape Jeremy or something ridiculous.

"Yeah." Jeremy manages, swallowing hard, "I knew." _Didn't know it was gonna mess everything up though._

Chandler's shoulders seem to sag in relief but he doesn't lift his head.

"So why'd you kiss back?" He asks after a moment, and then the tension is right back in the air, "If you knew what you were doing, and you didn't want me, then why'd you kiss back?"

Jeremy shrugs, looking distinctly uncomfortable. They can't do this. They shouldn't have done anything in the first place, but they definitely can't let it go on. Not without risking the team, and the team is _everything_. Jeremy has to end this right now, get them back to being friends, move past this and stop thinking about Chandler's lips.

"I don't know. It, uh, felt good, I guess?" He offers, and wow. He sounds like an asshole _and_ an idiot.

Chandler snorts even though it's not funny in the least. He sort of feels like throwing Jeremy out of the car and running him over a few times.

"Look, I don't really know why, okay?" Jeremy says, and this time he does turn to face Chandler, "I guess I was just... caught up in the moment, is all. I'm sorry. Really, I am." _You don't have a single clue how sorry I am. I'm so sorry but we can't risk this, we_ can't.

Chandler flexes his hands on the steering wheel. His vision blurs just a bit. His throat feels tight and his skin feels hot. It's fucking embarrassing how upset he is about this. 

"Chandler... Look man, I really am sorry. I just can't be that for you. I don't know why I kissed you but I swear I never meant to hurt you and I'm sorry that I made you think... Dude, come on. Look at me." Jeremy pleads, guilt heavy in his heart. It's all technically true, but the words taste like a lie and he hates that, figures he should probably have spent the last two days trying to figure this out instead of wallowing in self-pity and avoiding his best friend.

"I don't think I want to." Chandler answers with a quiet chuckle. He sounds stuffed up and Jeremy feels like an even bigger asshole once he realizes that he's actually managed to make Chandler cry. Fuck. Why is he such a _dick?_

"Dude..." Jeremy reaches out to place a hand on his teammate's shoulder but Chandler stiffly shifts out of the way. The rustle of fabric is startlingly loud in the car, and the movement would seem childish and stupid if it didn't make Jeremy want to throw himself off a cliff. There's a tense moment between them full of chirping cicadas, and then Chandler relaxes back against the seat with a heavy sigh, blinking fast and clearing his throat.

"It's okay," He says, shrugging, "You don't feel that way about me. Not your fault. It's not like there's anything you can do about it."

It's supposed to make him feel better but Jeremy's pretty sure he doesn't deserve to, so it actually makes him feel a whole lot worse. He feels like Chandler deserves some sort of medal for bothering, feels like Chandler deserves a lot of things.

"It's okay, really." Chandler continues, forcing his voice into something stronger than he feels capable of backing up. He swallows the lump in his throat and picks at the steering wheel with a chipped nail to avoid looking at Jeremy, "It's cool. It was just a kiss. It's not like we slept together or anything."

Jeremy blushes and ducks his head a bit to hide it. He needn't bother though, as Chandler still hasn't looked at him.

"It's cool." He repeats, "No big deal. We'll just... forget it ever happened."

"Yeah. Yeah, let's um, let's do that." Jeremy agrees with a cough, eager to end the conversation and escape the car.

Chandler gives him a tight smile that Jeremy tries to return, and the whole thing is awkward as hell, but it's a step closer to normal.

 

* * *

 

That really should be it. They should be back to being friends, joking around as usual and high-fiving each other on successful plays. For Chandler, it actually seems to be.

Jeremy, on the other hand, can't seem to get over what the other man said.

_It's not like we slept together or anything._

It's stupid - he  _knows_  it's stupid - but for some reason he just can't stop thinking about it, about what could have happened if Chandler hadn't said anything or if Jeremy had said 'okay'. It hits him when Chandler returns to the bench, dripping with sweat and gasping for breath, or when he's sprawled out on the floor, mid-stretch, and Jeremy suddenly finds himself unable to focus, unable to think about anything other than the  _what-if_ s and  _maybe_ s and the heat of Chandler's mouth.

It's really ridiculous because he can't have Chandler, shouldn't want him. He literally spent _days_ telling himself that it was all a fluke, that his memory was messed up from the pills and things really hadn't been _that_ nice, that he'd already decided to end things and that he didn't like Chandler like that. 

Except he's kind of starting to realize that he maybe does, and it has the potential to destroy everything.

 

 


	2. One More Last Try (Get The Ending Right)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy and Chandler get their shit together (eventually) and sex happens because yes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I didn't even think anyone was even interested in this story anymore, but then I got two lovely comments informing me otherwise, which is why this is finally being posted. 
> 
> I honestly don't know how I feel about this. It's far (seriously, so fucking far - oh my god I am a horrible person) from the dirtiest thing I've ever written, but smutty rpf isn't something I've ever really dabbled in, and I'm actually pretty nervous about posting it. I also feel like I need to apologize for Jeremy being annoying and OOC, but hopefully he's not too bad.
> 
> Title taken from the song "Haven't Had Enough" by Marianas Trench, which is basically the theme song for this fic.

They're sitting on the bench, next to each other because that's where they always sit, because everyone expects them to and leaves them the space, because it'd be weird and awkward and a giant red flag for the team if they didn't. It's not their best game, and they've been behind for the first three quarters, but things are starting to turn around, and the starters are getting ready to go back in.

Jeremy and Chandler walk over to the check-in table, steps in sync. James and the others hang back a bit, just a few feet further than usual, and it's the only hint that anyone has noticed anything is off between them. Nobody has said anything though, so it's not a problem yet, and they're all expecting Jeremy and Chandler to work things out on their own.

Which would be great if that's what was actually happening.

Except it's not.

It's not that Jeremy doesn't want to move past this or anything. It's just that he doesn't really know how to do that.

He's trying to just forget the kiss and move on like they planned, but he can't. And it really sucks, because Chandler is acting normal, slinging an arm around Jeremy's shoulders or patting his knee companionably when they're sitting together on the bench and sleeping on his shoulder when they travel, and Jeremy just keeps fucking it up, forcing Chandler to retreat because he can't make himself calm the fuck down. Chandler keeps ducking away from the tension and then coming back, reluctant to give up and trying to hide the hurt, but Jeremy can't relax into his touch anymore, not when he can't stop thinking about how warm Chandler's skin always is and how soft his hair feels when it's not full of product and how much he wants to just throw him down and lick his dumb knees.

It's totally not the change Jeremy was expecting. He's pretty sure something is about to give.

He really hopes it'll be something he can fix.

 

* * *

  

Chandler snaps exactly a week after the kiss.  
  
"Dude, I thought we worked this out." He shouts, flinging his arms up, and the entire thing feels like an explosion, makes Jeremy take a step back. He's instantly on the defensive, and it shouldn't be a fight but it sure as hell feels like one.  
  
"I know!" Jeremy yells back, even though they never actually did work anything out, just sort of agreed that the issue didn't exist. Still, he doesn't think he's entirely to blame for the not-fixing thing. Chandler is at least as guilty as he is in that category.  
  
"Then why are you acting weird?" Chandler shouts back, and again,  _totally just as much to blame_ , if not  _more_.  
  
"Because you keep touching me!" Jeremy says without really thinking. And yeah, it's not exactly the real issue, but it's something he can admit to. It's also the closest thing to blame he can manage aloud, and it's easier if it's not his fault.  
  
Chandler looks flabbergasted, which is actually sort of funny, because it's the face he makes when he gets a really bad call, but also sort of not, because it's directed at Jeremy. "I've always touched you! I thought we were going back to normal! Me touching you  _is_  normal!"  
  
"Yeah, well, the way it's making me feel isn't!" Jeremy says before he can stop himself, and he holds his breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop. It doesn't, and he's suddenly grateful as hell that when it comes to reading between the lines, Chandler can be really dumb sometimes.  
  
"Oh, so it's my fault that you're uncomfortable? You're the one who wanted to get over this! So  _get over it!_ " Chandler yells, approaching Jeremy quickly, pressing right up in his space, and Jeremy is really surprised when Chandler doesn't shove him. He's also surprised at how good the other man smells, and that just frustrates him more, that he can't make himself stop feeling and wanting. It's even more inappropriate than usual, considering the circumstances, i.e., Chandler may be about to hit him.  
  
"I'm trying to!" Jeremy says back, raising his voice and feeling it crack, fighting the instinct to back up. He feels a few of his knuckles pop with how tightly his fists are clenched and tries not to grimace.  
  
"Try harder!" Chandler snarls, and he's standing tall, glaring down at Jeremy. He looks intimidating in a way his charm never really allows, but he's pissed right now, and there's not a trace of a smile on his face. He's standing so close that Jeremy can feel Chandler's breath against his temple, and it's kind of like that first night, too close and too much and  _Chandler isn't acting like Chandler._  Jeremy's chest seizes up and he can't stop himself from doing what he does next.  
  
Jeremy reaches up and drags Chandler down into a dry kiss. He presses their lips together and it's hard and angry and Chandler doesn't even respond. He's tense and still and nothing like he was before. After a few seconds, Jeremy throws him off and stumbles back, panting and glaring and a little turned on.  
  
They're both breathing hard. Chandler is looking at him oddly, his entire face plain and expressionless but his eyes are swimming with emotions. He looks both furious and sad and confused and - and _fuck_. Betrayed. He looks  _betrayed_. Oh no. Jeremy definitely just made things worse, didn't he?  
  
"What-?" Chandler starts to ask, and his voice sounds rough.  
  
"I don't know!" Jeremy shouts, voice spiking, because he really  _doesn't_ know. He's actually trying to  _not_  ruin their friendship, thanks. "I don't know, Chandler, but it's all I can think about!"  
  
He gasps a bit, feeling the weight of the truth leave him, and he begins pacing, letting the anger spill out of his body with each step. He comes to a stop and turns around, staring up at Chandler helplessly and wracked with guilt because they were  _supposed_  to be able to get past this, "I can't stop thinking about you."  
  
Chandler swallows. His eyes are tight at the corners, moving rapidly over Jeremy's face, searching for something that says otherwise, but he can't find it. He squares his jaw stubbornly.  
  
Jeremy looks down at the floor and runs his hands through his hair.  
  
"I just... I keep thinking about that stupid kiss and I can't stop. I liked it. A lot. A whole lot, actually. And I keep-" He pauses, trying to find the words, " _Wondering._  About you. And me. And it's a bad idea, a really bad idea, but I can't forget about it, okay? I've been trying to but I can't. And I don't know, maybe I... Maybe I wasn't as honest with you as I should have been."  
  
Jeremy lifts his eyes back up to Chandler's face hesitantly. Chandler's resolve is breaking but he isn't moving, feet planted firmly while his face continues to crack. Jeremy finds himself bracing for something, and he hopes like hell it's not for the fallout.  
  
Chandler turns his face away and Jeremy watches his profile warily, breath held.  
  
"Why are you telling me this?" Chandler asks, and he sounds so desperate, so broken and young that Jeremy feels like hugging him. Chandler turns back to face him, and he's wearing his anger like a mask again, but it's slipping now and they both know it. "Why? Because if you-" He snaps his mouth shut and frowns, glancing away before looking back down at Jeremy, expression hard.

"I can't-" He cuts himself off again and Jeremy finds himself taking a step closer, face open and urging Chandler to continue and also just wanting him to shut up so things can't get worse. He's never had the best people skills. This whole situation kind of shines a light on just how lacking he is in that department. How lacking they both are, actually.

When he speaks a third time, Chandler's eyes are closed tightly and Jeremy can barely hear him, "Please mean this."

The whisper makes Jeremy freeze.

He's never heard Chandler sound like that, so unsure of himself and scared. It sort of hits him that Chandler's not just pissed at him for fucking up their friendship and being confused and annoying and misleading (and wow, Chandler has a lot of things to be pissed about), but that his feelings are real, that he hasn't just been messing around with Jeremy all season and he's definitely not doing so now. It shouldn't come as such a shock, especially after everything that's happened, but it does, and Jeremy feels something shift between them and another something solidify inside of himself.

He never wants to hear Chandler sound like that again, never wants to hear his voice full of fear and pain, and fuck it all to Hell and back, but it's the wretched quality of Chandler's voice that has Jeremy moving forward.

He reaches up and turns Chandler's face towards his own, sharing the briefest moment of eye contact before bringing their mouths together. Chandler is still tense and Jeremy presses closer, pushing until Chandler is forced to push back or fall over.

Chandler's hand comes up to grip the back of his neck and then he's opening his mouth to Jeremy's, shoulders dropping and fingers curling against short, dark hair. They kiss for a moment, mouths slack, just breathing softly against each other's lips, and then Chandler pulls back, looking sort of guarded and sort of hopeful and sort of clueless.

Jeremy wants to tell him how bad of an idea this all is, wants to back out again, wants to hate Chandler for being so hard to resist, but he knows now that he can't pretend he doesn't feel something, because it doesn't do anyone any favors and frankly he really sucks at it. Still, there are a lot of things to consider - _like the team!_  his mind screams - and Jeremy doesn't have any idea how to bring it up, but apparently his face is a good enough indicator of his thoughts because Chandler does.

"Nobody has to know." He says, voice low and slightly hesitant.

Jeremy nods. "You sure you're okay with that?" He asks.

Chandler sort of laughs and slides his fingers down along Jeremy's neck, "No. But I'm not stupid, man. I know telling people would just stir up shit. The team doesn't need to deal with that."

He sounds disappointed but resigned, and Jeremy sort of feels the same but there's some relief in there too. Seriously, what the hell is he doing?

"Are  _you_  sure you're okay with this?" Chandler asks, dipping his head a bit so Jeremy can't avoid his eyes. It feels like Chandler's reading his mind.

Jeremy laughs quietly, "No. I'm not. Chandler, this... I don't even know where to start, man. I..."

Jeremy trails off, letting his fingers rest against Chandler's neck and hopes it's reassuring, hopes Chandler understands that he's not saying 'no'. Chandler leans into the touch and waits patiently for Jeremy to get his thoughts together.

"I don't even know what you want from me." He says quietly, "Do you want to be, like, boyfriends?"

And that. That just sounds  _weird_.

Chandler seems to pick up on his discomfort and sort of frowns, "That's what your issue is? That I'm a guy?"

Jeremy looks up, sort of shocked and dumbfounded, "Uh, that's definitely a hurdle. It's kind of a big deal, okay? Look, Chandler, I'm not gay."

"I don't even know what to say to that." Chandler jokes, but it falls flat.

"I- This isn't me being a homophobe or anything, okay? It's just that I like girls. I always have. And then all of the sudden I'm thinking about you like that and it's just really weird and unexpected." He gestures between them, " _This?_  Isn't supposed to happen."

Chandler steps back, hand leaving Jeremy's neck, and Jeremy knows he's in trouble now because that's definitely the bitchface.

"If I remember right, you weren't supposed to have a starting position in the NBA either."

Which, okay, that's fair, but annoying too, because he's missing the  _point._  Not that Jeremy could help him with that either, because he's not so sure of the point himself, he just knows that this is risky and stupid and asking for all kinds of trouble, "Chandler..."

"Do you want this?" Chandler interrupts before he can say anything more, though Jeremy has no idea what he'd been about to say. He has no idea what to say now either. He's suddenly weirdly aware of just how dry his mouth is, finds his eyes flicking toward Chandler's. Chandler steps close again but doesn't reach out, waiting patiently with his arms at his sides.

"Jeremy, do you want this?" He repeats quietly.

Jeremy tries to speak, and is amazed that he can get the words he needs to say out. "What about the team? What if this doesn't work out? What if it makes things weird?"

"I asked first." Chandler says back, and Jeremy has never been more annoyed or more grateful in his life, because Chandler's being an ass and making a point and it's the most frustrating thing ever but it  _works._

"Just forget about everything else for a minute and tell me if you want this." He says, and he's not smiling but there's a glint in his eyes that says he knows Jeremy has already been swayed.

"Yeah." Jeremy says, and blushes because he sounds sort of breathless.

Chandler grins, and he's reaching out again, his hands grabbing Jeremy's shoulders and pulling him in. Their lips connect and it's warm and soft and stupidly perfect even though Chandler's shaking with how hard he's trying not to laugh. Jeremy reaches up and slides a thumb along his cheek, feeling the curve of his smile, and Chandler does chuckle a bit then, but he doesn't pull back.

Jeremy feels his own laughter starting to bubble up, feels his thoughts redirecting to Chandler, and tries to remember why they didn't just spend the last week doing this.

Oh. Right.

"This is a bad idea." Jeremy mumbles between kisses when he remembers, just so he can tell himself he tried.

He can feel Chandler's mouth shift into a frown against his lips. He growls and squeezes Jeremy's arms in response, but it's more out of annoyance than any real aggression.

"Don't care." He says back, hands pushing up and under Jeremy's sleeves to caress his shoulders as he walks them back towards the couch. And yeah, suddenly Jeremy doesn't either, not really, not with Chandler's hands on him, and he figures they're in deep enough as it is. Besides, he kind of likes the press of those long fingers against his skin. Jeremy reaches down and grabs the hem of Chandler's shirt, and Chandler lifts his arms, letting Jeremy pull it over his head. Chandler helps him strip off his own shirt next, and then they're both kissing, bare-chested and eager.

 

Jeremy falls back on the couch and Chandler follows an instant later, straddling the other man and bringing their mouths together in a deep kiss. He curls one hand around Jeremy's skull and the other over his cheek, tilting his face up. Jeremy's hands sort of flounder for a moment before settling on Chandler's hips. He feels the taller man's muscles jump beneath his fingers and tightens his grip in response.

Jeremy pushes up into the kiss, sucking at Chandler's bottom lip and losing himself in the feeling of warm hands roaming his chest and back. Chandler shifts forward, a comfortable weight in his lap, and Jeremy lets his own hands explore. His fingers dance up Chandler's back and glide along his shoulders. Chandler bites gently at Jeremy's lips, urging him on, and Jeremy arches forward when Chandler's hands slide beneath him to cup his shoulder blades. Chandler reacts by pulling him even closer, and Jeremy breaks the kiss, "Here, let's-"

He pushes at Chandler's shoulder until the taller man lays down on the couch. His hair is messy and flashing blond in the late-afternoon sun streaming through the window. His lips curl up into a grin when Jeremy crawls on top of him, straddling his thighs. Chandler's hands settle at Jeremy's hips like they belong there, and Jeremy leans down to connect their lips again. Chandler's tongue presses against his mouth, and he opens easily, hands sliding up his teammate's chest and neck and into his hair. Chandler tilts his head back into the touch and sucks at Jeremy's upper lip, his hands sliding along the small of Jeremy's tan back. Jeremy sighs, mouth tingling with sensation.

He pulls away and sits up to look down at Chandler. 

As long as he's been in the NBA, Jeremy's still spent a much larger portion of his life being taller than everyone around him, and it sort of hits him suddenly just how  _big_  Chandler is. He has to bend his knees to fit on the couch and his hands are massive on Jeremy's hips, warm and calloused and covering more skin than any girl ever could. He's not nearly as lean as his jersey makes him look, his torso thick and muscular, though still quite lanky, and Jeremy feels a rush of awe at the amount of power spread out beneath him, yielding to him.

He meets Chandler's eyes and the taller man's tongue flicks out to wet the edge of his lip as he takes a deep breath. His smile is nervous, but still loose and genuine, eyes lidded and adoring. His hair is askew from Jeremy's hands and his face is flushed with arousal. The blush spreads down Chandler's neck and chest, and his entire body moves with heavy breaths.

There are freckles scattered across his shoulders and chest, brought into being from Florida summers, and he looks like a dream. His fingers stoke up the length of Jeremy's back and and then down to settle at his waist again.

"Are we really doing this?" He asks, thumbs circling gently against Jeremy's hips.

"Heck of a time to ask." Jeremy snarks before he can stop himself. Then, "Yeah. Yeah, I guess- I guess we are."

Chandler smiles brightly and laughs, nodding. He reaches up and squeezes Jeremy's shoulder and tugs him down until their chests are touching again. Their faces are inches apart and Chandler lets his nose brush against Jeremy's on a whim. He's sort of expecting the other man to laugh at him for such a lame gesture of affection, but Jeremy just smiles and repeats the action.

Chandler bites his lip and slowly slides his hands down the length of Jeremy's back. He pauses at the hem of Jeremy's stupid cargo pants and watches him blink. When Jeremy opens his eyes again, Chandler lets his hand slide around and reaches between them. He unbuttons Jeremy's pants and then takes a deep breath before working at the zipper. He can feel himself blushing and wonders why. It's not like he hasn't done this before. Maybe not with a guy, but he's not a virgin. And anyway, it's not like he hasn't thought about this very moment for months now.

Chandler looks up when he feels Jeremy's hand brush against his own, but Jeremy isn't looking at him. Chandler directs his gaze back down and watches, entranced, as Jeremy undoes his jeans, fumbling the button slightly. A moment later they're both just laying there with their flies open, lips swollen and hearts racing, both achingly hard. Jeremy wonders if Chandler feels as stunned as he does.

Apparently not, because Chandler cups his shoulder blade and pulls him down, bringing their mouths together again. His hand glides down Jeremy's back and he tugs at Jeremy's pants until the shorter man shifts enough for Chandler to slide them down. Jeremy manages to kick them off without falling off the couch, so he considers it a success. Not to be outdone, he moves for Chandler's jeans.

Chandler lifts his hips easily and Jeremy moves back down the couch as he strips the denim from his teammate's legs. Chandler's calves flex against his fingers and he looks up to see the taller man pressing a fist to his flat stomach, his other hand clutching at the back of the couch. Jeremy smirks, glad to see he's not the only one being knocked off balance, and moves back up Chandler's body.

The kiss starts slower this time, and Chandler exhales softly into Jeremy's mouth like a whisper. Jeremy strokes his hands up Chandler's body, fingers sensitive to every bit of flesh, every blond hair on Chandler's freckled chest, the warmth of skin strong and inviting. Chandler blinks, long and slow, knee easing up cautiously between Jeremy's legs. Jeremy gasps when he makes contact and bites back a curse. Chandler laughs and adds a little more pressure.

Jeremy reaches down with one hand to grasp at Chandler's thigh, the other pressed over the taller man's heart, feeling it beat as rapidly as his own. 

Chandler grins cheekily up at him, lip caught between his teeth, and shifts his leg a bit. Jeremy drags his hand down Chandler's chest in response, grabs his teammate's hip to steady himself as sensation floods his body. Chandler's head tilts back and he moans, shifting into the touch. Jeremy strokes his thumb along the hem of Chandler's briefs, enjoying the sudden reversal of power, and snaps the elastic just to hear Chandler hiss. Chandler's hands shoot up to grab his shoulders, "Fuck! D-don't- "

Jeremy's grin widens. He just made Chandler Parsons stutter.

Chandler's knee shifts again and Jeremy presses into the movement instinctively, groaning. He hesitates a moment and then slides his hand over from Chandler's hip, lower and over until his palm is pressed against the outline of Chandler's length. The taller man gasps and then groans as Jeremy applies the slightest of pressure with the heel of his hand.

Chandler clutches at Jeremy's back, pushing up into his touch, "Y-yeah. Okay. That's- That's good."

"Yeah." Jeremy agrees distractedly as he rocks against Chandler's knee, hand starting to move in rough circles. Chandler's all heat beneath his fingers, and Jeremy fights to stay focused as his own lust demands his attention. He watches Chandler's face, the way his cheeks flush and contrast with the blue of his eyes. They dart down, flickering between Jeremy's hand and face, awed like he can't believe this is happening. Jeremy can't really believe it either.

Chandler's mouth is open as he takes quiet, gasping breaths, "Let- Let me..."

Chandler slides his hands down Jeremy's back. His leg falls away and Jeremy's hips rock forward into open air for a moment, and then Chandler's hand is there, big and warm and pressing. Their wrists bump together as Chandler starts to move and Jeremy moans. Chandler lets his fingers trace along Jeremy's length, memorizing the feeling of everything he can; the soft cotton separating them, the burning heat of sheltered skin, the alien firmness of another man's erection.

Jeremy gasps against his neck, half-formed words whispered against sweat-slick skin. Chandler shudders at the sensation. His hips stutter up into Jeremy's palm and he knows he's getting close embarrassingly fast. He speeds up the movement of his hand, eager to bring Jeremy off before he comes, to not waste this opportunity. Jeremy groans and his mouth presses tighter against Chandler, teeth grazing his teammate's skin.

Chandler's free hand grips Jeremy's ass, urging him forward, dragging him closer, needing him right  _there_.

He pulls Jeremy down until their bodies' are pressed tight, eager hands caught between them. They both moan and Chandler slides his hand free, grabbing onto Jeremy and rutting up against him. Jeremy pulls his own hand out of the way as well, reaching up to tangle his fingers in Chandler's disheveled hair. They rock together, rough and clumsy, and it's so good but not quite enough.

Jeremy noses along Chandler's jaw, breathing heavily. Chandler tilts his head down and connects their lips, mouth moving against Jeremy's, wet and desperate. He moans when Jeremy's weight shifts, and Jeremy slides a hand down Chandler's side in response. He grabs Chandler's thigh and lifts it, the taller man taking the hint. Chandler curls his leg around Jeremy's, letting their bodies slot together. He brings his other leg up as well and pulls, arching up into Jeremy's body, feeling Jeremy's breath catch against his mouth.

"Fuck." Jeremy gasps quietly, barely even saying the word. He tilts his head back, blissful, and Chandler takes the opportunity to press soft, nipping kisses against the tan column of his teammate's throat. Jeremy groans when Chandler's mouth latches onto a freckle on his adam's apple. Chandler hums against his skin, pleased. His hands rub up and down Jeremy's ass, thumbs gliding along the hem of his shorts. Jeremy's skin heats up even more at the implication, and the way Chandler is grinding up against him doesn't help any. He's so close.

Jeremy slides his hand under Chandler's body and settles it against the small of his back, feeling the way his muscles move with every shift of his hips. His other hand is still on Chandler's thigh, and he squeezes, feeling firm muscle give just the slightest bit. Chandler gasps against his neck, breath striking wet skin and making Jeremy shudder pleasantly. Chandler's legs grip his body tighter and his hips begin moving ever faster, the angle perfect and every movement rough.

"Oh-! Oh fuck, Jeremy! I'm gonna come, fuck, I'm gonna- fuck!"

Chandler's back arches, body pressing against Jeremy's with sudden strength. He's all flushed skin and taunt tendons, and a long, cracking moan that sends Jeremy over the edge before he can even make a sound.

They both lay there for a moment, cheeks pressed together as they struggle to catch their breaths, too dazed to be anything but blissfully content. Chandler unfolds his legs from around Jeremy's waist and lets them slip down to rest over his teammate's calves. After a moment, Jeremy eases his hands out from under Chandler's body and plants an elbow on the couch. He levers himself up enough to look down at the taller man.

Chandler's eyes are heavy-lidded, face soft and content. Jeremy doesn't think he's ever seen someone look more satisfied and it thrills him a bit to know he played a role in that. Chandler's eyelids flutter and he turns his head a bit to look at Jeremy, brow furrowing slightly.

"What're you doin'?" He slurs, arms coming up to wrap around Jeremy's shoulders, "C'mere."

Jeremy lets himself be dragged back down against Chandler's chest, distantly thinking that they should clean up before they fall asleep, but lacking the energy to even say as much, much less actually follow through on it. He lets his eyes slip shut and mindlessly plays with Chandler's hair, fingers moving in slow, soft circles. Chandler hums contentedly and Jeremy smiles, feeling the rumbling sensation of the sound against his cheek. He makes a similar sound in agreement.

 

* * *

  

Jeremy wakes up some time later to the feeling of Chandler's hand sliding along his bare arm. Chandler is looking down at his phone, unaware that Jeremy is awake.

"Hey." He says softly in greeting, and Chandler smiles hesitantly down at him.

"You're not gonna freak out on me, are you?" He teases, but there's a little bit of actual concern there too.

Jeremy shakes his head as much as he is able to with his chin propped on Chandler's chest, "Nah. I still think this is a terrible idea that will blow up in our faces, but I'm okay with it now."

He's smiling when he says it, and Chandler laughs, louder and fuller than Jeremy is expecting. It makes his grin widen.

"Well, if it makes you feel better, the internet already thought we were a thing."

Jeremy raises an eyebrow and Chandler turns his phone around so Jeremy can see the screen.

"'Linsons...'" He reads and reaches up a finger to start scrolling. After a handful of pictures he stops and looks back up at Chandler, who's grinning down at him cheekily.

"Dude, exactly how long _have_ you been pining after me?" Jeremy asks jokingly, and Chandler laughs again, snatching the phone out of his hand and tossing it towards one of the other chairs in the room.

"Long enough." He growls, and drags Jeremy up by the shoulders to smother their laughter between kisses.

 

 


End file.
